Discovering Mary Farrar and Alexander Thomas Douglass

Soul-Centered Research Queries

My primary objective of soul-centered genealogy is to go beyond documented historical facts for a deeper understanding of the real human experiences of research subjects. Discovering the lives of these 3 generations of grandparents and the community and events that affected them inspire a variety of emotions.

I wonder about Mary’s experience of conceiving, carrying, and raising Ned in the shadows of the Master and Mistress.

Enslaved women were often forbidden to identify the father of children conceived by white men. The consequences could lead to separation from their children, torture, or death. These women were also required to honor the feelings of the Mistress. Though these wives knew their husbands pursued sexual encounters with slaves, it wasn’t considered appropriate to actually acknowledge the truth and consequences.

What were the impacts of these circumstances, in addition to the overall trials of being an American slave, on Mary’s sense of self and her experience of being a woman?

How did fellow African Americans in the community regard Mary and Ned?

How did Elizabeth feel and think about this child, who most likely looked a lot like her husband? Consequently, how did she treat Mary and Ned?

As documented above, Mary went to her funeral which may indicate some level of positive connection or a desire for closure. Did Alexander sire children with the other slaves?

Did Ned know Alexander was his biological father? Was he told another man was his father?

Recognizing my Grandfather Timothy’s resemblance to Alexander, I’m guessing the family resemblance was undeniable.

Knowing Ned was his biological son, did Alexander support him in ways a parent naturally would?

And I wonder about the many ways Mary and Ned’s experiences shaped the worldview of my Grandfather, Timothy Farrar.

How Mary and Ned’s Experiences as Slaves Have Affected my Family

As with every human, Ned’s concept of a father and how he parented was influenced by his experience of his father. I personally know the generational inheritances that were passed from Mary and Ned’s circumstances as slaves of the Douglass family. They greatly influenced my grandfather, and in turn, my mother, who took some time to reconcile the fact that her Grandfather was born into slavery and her Great Grandfather was his ‘owner’.

She’s described feelings of sadness and anger – genetic memories coming up for release.

Emotional Inheritences are as Powerful as Genetic Inheritances

Generational legacies born from American slavery are tremendously apparent in American families today and deeply engrained in our customs, beliefs, and the ways we treat one another. The sadness, frustration, and shock often felt at the revelation of our enslaved ancestors’ actual American experience are continuations of what they felt and were forbidden to express, let alone act upon. Likewise, descendants of those who enslaved sometimes cycle through feelings of regret, guilt, embarrassment, and shame as they discover their grandparents.

Acknowledging truths that were forced to be hidden, and breathing life into stories like Mary’s is the only way to evolve past the legacy of pain we’ve been collectively carrying. This is my most heartfelt intention and the most powerful inspiration for documenting and sharing these life stories.

While past events, decisions, and choices can’t be changed, we can each transform our experience of its recollection. Anger may evolve into admiration of our ancestors’ fortitude and the groundedness. Sadness may evolve into sacred respect for their will to live and love, despite extraordinary and systematic efforts to destroy their sense of Self. But first, residual frustration, shame, and sadness must arise before the freedom of release has a chance of transforming powerful emotional legacies that still hold power today.